It has been brought to our attention that many employees are dying and refusing to fall over after they are dead. This must stop!

 

On and after this date, any employee found standing up after he has died will be dropped from the payroll within 90 days. When it can be proved that the employee is being supported by a productive past, an additional 90 days will be granted.

 

If, after several hours, it is noticed that an employee has not moved or changed positions, the supervisor will investigate. Because of the highly sensitive nature of our employees, and the close resemblance between death and their natural working attitude, the investigation will be made quietly, so as not to disturb the employee if he is just sleeping.

 

 

If some doubt exists as to the true condition of the employee, extending a pay envelope is a fine test. If the employee does not reach for the envelope, it may be assumed that he is dead. In some cases the instinct is so strongly developed, however, that a spasmodic clutch or reflex motion may be encountered.

 

 

The above was seen in an office in Fresno, CA.

 

Our first impression was that of amazement — that this ancient malady, the standing dead, had propagated its virus throughout the centuries since Sardis (Revelation 3.1), and had spread from the church into the business world. Then, upon reflection, we realized that the disease originated in the world — was of the world — and that it was with the germs of worldliness that ancient Sardis had been afflicted. Oh, what a damning plague!

 

The will to live for Christ has always been a necessary part of the cure for the spiritual malady; and the Great Physician offers the only successful remedy (Luke 19.10).