Sun 9:30a Class; 10:30a Worship; 11:35a Communion
Bible Bites
"When the Vow Breaks"
So reads the title of a two-page article in the November, 2011 issue of AARP Magazine, by Mary A. Fischer. One might assume that this is about divorce, but that would be so only superficially. It promotes something much more sinister.
The lead question reads: “Is infidelity justified if your spouse has dementia?" How do you suppose any faithful Christian would answer that question? The article introduces us to Herb, 83, whose wife, Ruth, 73, has advanced Alzheimer's disease, leaving their New York apartment to spend the afternoon with his "girlfriend." Herb says, of his wife, "She can't hug or even kiss me anymore," and, "I longed for that closeness with a woman." The article should have been titled, "It's All About Herb!"
While admitting that some caregivers who "crave intimacy" view extra-marital affairs as "a serious moral violation," the AARP article clearly defends those affairs. Fischer writes, "... a new focus on the emotional needs of caregivers has prompted some psychologists, social workers, and even religious leaders to redefine adultery." A Jewish "rabbi" is quoted as saying, "We're confronted with the challenge of having our religion adapt to these new realities." A "licensed social worker," Cynthia Epstein says, "As long as you provide dignified care and honor your spouse, you need not feel guilty." So much for, "... to love, to honor, to have and to hold... until death do us part." Those who try to-change the definition of adultery and marriage change the gospel of Christ and are "accursed" according to Galatians 1.8-9.
Arthur Caplan, director of the center for Bioethics, University of Pennsylvania, said, "I don't think it is abandonment or disloyalty to form a new relationship once your spouse declines to the point where they cannot possibly interact, or respond... you are entitled to seek companionship." Entitled "ethics," indeed! This "ethical infidelity" cannot logically be limited to old people. What about the Herbs of the world whose spouses are in comas, or are paralyzed from an accident, or have had strokes and are unable to "meet their needs"? Situation ethics leads to no real ethics at all. While our heart goes out to those challenged care givers, God’s ethical standard says, "Let marriage be had in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Heb 13:4 ). No exceptions!
Back to Herb. He said, "I'm still a normal man who has needs, and this new relationship has been wonderful." In fact, the article reveals it is so "wonderful" that "Herb sees a therapist weekly and often discusses “his guilt over his affair." If Herb can have one "girlfriend," why not have several? Then his wonderful relationships could overwhelmingly "meet his needs," resulting in boundless joy, in his guilt. Beware of self serving Herb and his defenders. "But evil men and impostors shall wax worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived" (2 Timothy 3.13).
What's next for the Herbs of the world? Will they be willing to participate in the humane euthanasia of the cognitively impaired, helpless stroke victims, and the physically deformed who are "taking up space and using up valuable assets" in care facilities and limiting the personal desires of their spouses and families? Perhaps they could all gather in a large plaza somewhere and stand in ranks, shoulder to shoulder with the millions who support and practice the killing of the unborn, and raise their arms and in unison shout, "Heil Hitler!"
God's people do not turn to AARP or any man for our standard of behavior. The apostle John wrote, "We know that we are of God, and the whole world lieth in the evil one." Our task is to be different and to make a difference. "For it is God who worketh in you both to will and to work, for his good pleasure... that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom ye are seen as lights in the world" (Philippians 2.13ff).
— In "Truth Magazine", May 2012
